Better Ways To Express Sympathy to the Bereaved

Death is a heavy topic, and it’s one we should discuss with care. Someone who has just experienced the loss of a loved one may not know how to process their emotions; this is a moment to approach them with care. Those currently grieving are vulnerable, so we recommend reviewing these better ways to express sympathy to the bereaved before visiting.

When Is the Best Time To Show Sympathy?

Believe it or not, there is an appropriate time and place to show sympathy. One of the worst things to do is show up the day they hear of their loss and express your sympathy. It’s not necessarily distasteful, but it’s disruptive. When you show up an hour or so after a person’s death, you disturb the private time the family has together to grieve the loss.

You should always wait until you hear or see the official announcement from the deceased’s family or friends—whether it’s an obituary in the paper, a social media post, or a phone call. After that, you can send sympathy messages and a small gift to help them through this tough time.

How To Express Sympathy

Everyone expresses their sympathy differently. Some show compassion by bestowing gifts; others prefer to share caring words in-person or over the phone. While it differs from person to person, it’s a good idea not to go over the top with empathy. Showering the bereaved with gifts and a vacation is inappropriate.

You have many ways to show sympathy. One way is to send a thoughtful sympathy gift they will appreciate, like a photo album filled with pictures and—with their permission—social media posts the person left before their death. Other gifts, like a card, a plant, or a grocery store gift card, are all acceptable to give to someone currently grieving.

What You Should Avoid Doing When Visiting Someone Experiencing a Loss

After the death of a loved one, you must follow two golden rules. First, do not deny the end of a person’s life or say that someone isn’t in emotional pain because they aren’t showing it physically. Many process pain differently, and it’s not right for you to judge them for not crying.

Second, do not say the deceased went to a better place. While many families practice a specific faith worldwide, telling the bereaved their family member or friend went somewhere better is rude. It’s okay if you are unsure what to say or do right now, especially if you haven’t experienced such a loss. If you need assistance, ask a close friend for guidance. It’s also okay to say, “I’m sorry for your loss,” it’s a simple sentiment that gets the point across.

Keep your friends and family in your thoughts, and remember, if you need a reminder on how to express sympathy to the bereaved, reflect on this list. Following this advice can help you be the best friend you can be in this tragic moment.